I think it can be so easy as parents to behave pragmatically. We often follow the path of least resistance as opposed to doing what is best. I find myself guilty of treading this path far too often.

When we look at the “long game”, the habits that we are creating for ourselves and our children, we can see more clearly and see the need for healthy rhythms and healthy communication.

So often we can find ourselves bargaining with our children. The very children who once gave so much admiration and only wanted to earn parental admiration in return flip a switch at some point and instead want tangible rewards and treats. I can’t help but to wonder how much of these expectations are cause by parental conditioning.

At some point we moved away from comments like:

“I’m so proud of you!”

“It makes me so happy when you…”

“You are so smart and resilient!”

Instead, we make comments like:

“If you clean up your mess, I will give you ice cream.” (don’t get me started on food rewards 😵‍💫. That’s a conversation for another day.)

This form of bartering only hurts our relationships and often trivializes the importance of consistence and intrinsic rewards.

We need to emphasize relationships over rewards.


Ingredients was where

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Heat a tablespoon of butter and a tablespoon of olive oil in a large pan. Wait until the pan is hot and the butter has fully melted.